Saturday, September 12, 2015

Golden Shower On Jet Blue Flight

We all know that flying is not a pleasant chore
No food, no leg room, crowded planes, stressed out crew whose passengers’ needs ignore
Middle seats, crying infants, passengers by the airlines nickeled and dimed
The discomfort starts as soon as one enters a TSA screening line
But the news from an Anchorage to Portland flight really takes the cake
Raises questions on whether deregulation of the airlines might have been a mistake
A passenger perhaps toasted as a way to the agonies of a Jet Blue flight try to cope
Boarded then went into a deep sleep after too many preflight topes
Alcohol is a diuretic, sucks water from your cells like a sponge
Into the bladder where too soon you will need the liquid to expunge
Outside of Portland the passenger suddenly awoke with an uncontrollable urge
From his bladder the liquids he had to that moment purge
Pity the passenger in the row immediately in front
They received the ultimate to their dignity and comfort affront
Sprayed with a stream, a golden shower
Can only imagine the urgency of the pilot’s call to the Portland tower
The police were waiting and arrested him on the plane
Another example of the former joys of flying down the proverbial drain
In the 60’s flying PSA, we dreamed of attendants asking “Coffee, tea or me?”
On a Jet Blue flight the nightmare was “Coffee, tea or a stream of pee?”
© September 12, 2015, Michael P. Ridley aka the Alaskanpoet
Alaskanpoet for Hire, Poems to Admire
Poet Extraordinaire Beyond Compare

Rhymes for All the Memorable Times
The Perfect Gift, All Recipients to Receive a Lasting Lift 

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