Golden Shower On Jet Blue Flight

We all know that flying is not a pleasant chore

No food, no leg room, crowded planes, stressed out crew whose passengers’ needs ignore

Middle seats, crying infants, passengers by the airlines nickeled and dimed

The discomfort starts as soon as one enters a TSA screening line

But the news from an Anchorage to Portland flight really takes the cake

Raises questions on whether deregulation of the airlines might have been a mistake

A passenger perhaps toasted as a way to the agonies of a Jet Blue flight try to cope

Boarded then went into a deep sleep after too many preflight topes

Alcohol is a diuretic, sucks water from your cells like a sponge

Into the bladder where too soon you will need the liquid to expunge

Outside of Portland the passenger suddenly awoke with an uncontrollable urge

From his bladder the liquids he had to that moment purge

Pity the passenger in the row immediately in front

They received the ultimate to their dignity and comfort affront

Sprayed with a stream, a golden shower

Can only imagine the urgency of the pilot’s call to the Portland tower

The police were waiting and arrested him on the plane

Another example of the former joys of flying down the proverbial drain

In the 60’s flying PSA, we dreamed of attendants asking “Coffee, tea or me?”

On a Jet Blue flight the nightmare was “Coffee, tea or a stream of pee?”

© September 12, 2015, Michael P. Ridley aka the Alaskanpoet
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